here’s a scrap convo we had on orkut (it was the night before an exam for me)
me: feelin’ happy and sleepy and tense and nervous and nonchalant and stupid and crazy and silly and weird and huggable and kissable and maed!
justify all the emotions by giving the reasons for feeling them
best of luck!
(all of the following constitute his reply
)
oh my god
hey, you haven’t given the word limit
anyway, here we go then…
HAPPY because you’ve just had a brainwash from an expert anasuya-brainwasher which has, well, ‘washed away’ the negativity. the inertia thus imparted to the brain ensured that it went into happy mode. hence proved, your brain functions like a pendulum. only it sometimes get stuck at the extreme positions. the main objective of the anasuya-brainwasher is thus to keep you stuck at the extreme position corresponding to the happy state. it is such a refined art, universities could soon be handing out degrees for specialization in anasuya-brainwashing. unfortunately though, only one person will be eligible to apply.
SLEEPY because your body is smarter than you are. you think you can trick it into believing it’s getting adequate sleep. sorry babe, your body ain’t that dumb. by integrating the intensity of sleep over a time-period spanning a whole day, your body is able to accurately calculate how much sleep you’ve been giving it. and in case you’re trying to be too smart, the body has a control center to retaliate against such injustice. the guys up there inject extra melatonin and dopamine into your bloodstream, and voila, you’re, er, dope!
TENSE because that is the default feeling every brain in this world generates before a big day. every brain which is not on depressants, that is. infact you need to go see a psycho (-logist) if you’re not tense.
time for a [:*]
NERVOUS is a synonym for tense. bad question. and for this i shall demand compensation. no details need be given here.
NONCHALANT is diametrically opposite of tense. this happens because of the law of conservation of energy. since one part of your brain is full of negative energy, the brain has two ways of conserving the law. one, it can develop positive feelings thereafter, or it can induce them there and then. do note that the brain does this purely out of respect for theoretical sciences and empirical laws.
feeling STUPID is a sign of humility. nobody ever wants to admit that they’re stupid. they always pass the buck to the others. no, we’re smart. others are stupid. these are the words of the haughty. so you’re humble, and for this you get a [:*].
however, feeling stupid is also a paradox, as it takes brains to ascertain you’re stupid, and if you can do that it means you’re not stupid.
and do i need to even begin justifying why you feel CRAZY? coz baby, that’s what you are. it’s a, umm… er… manufacturing defe…. feature, rather. a custom-made crazy babe… slurrp! so that’s you’re instinct, and hence justified. indeed it is why i find you so delicious, and for being crazy you get another [:*].
SILLY? awww… cute little kiddie babies are silly, and since you’re a cute little kiddie baby, you’re feeling silly. so there.
interesting fact about the word, though:
Silly has undergone one of the most astonishing semantic about-faces in the history of the English lexicon. In a thousand years it has gone from “blessed, happy” to “foolish.” The transformation began with “blessed” becoming “pious.” This led on via “innocent, harmless,” “pitiable,” and “feeble” to “feeble in mind, foolish.” The related German selig retains its original meaning “happy, blessed.”
Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.
WEIRD because the happy-tense-nonchalant mix is an eclectic one. your brain, being equivalent to a little baby’s brain as far as feelings are concerned (i don’t mean the magnitude here, just the distribution), is incapable of handling these three per se, so it generates the weird feeling to shroud the unrest. thus your brain is duping you. and you can’t even think about it because it is your brain you use to think after all. you think what your brain wants you to think. think about it.
so now we move on to the two more sensitive topics. but before that a [:*].
HUGGABLE. my my! now that’s exciting!
okay, back to professionalism. you’re feeling huggable because of the puppy fat all around your anatomy which make you absolutely huggable. plus, you’re feeling cuddly because of the nature of the situation which makes you wish to be hugged. you haven’t specified with respect to whom you’re huggable, but i think i know it, so *hugs*.
KISSABLE. i think this needs a bit of a detour from professionalism.
anybody with luscious lips like you have, what with all their pulpiness and softness (my goodness, are they delicious), should ideally feel kissable all the time. use a bit of lip balm and keep them moisturized, coz someone would like to kiss them pretty soon.
MAED. now there are only two people (because of the copyright on the term) in the world who can feel this way: you and i. given the mix of emotions above, you don’t even need to tell me you’re feeling maed. and in fact, after writing all this, i think i’m even more maed than you are.
please note that this was not a free service. payment will be charged in kind, in a format which shall be disclosed to you over a telephonic conversation.
>> this is what we call complete arbit-giri 
they said...